John Cleese explains the "advantages" of extremism...

The Intelligent Design Colouring Book

Hey Kids! It's the birthday gift you've all been waiting for... The Intelligent Design Colouring Book, and (according to the cover) it's 100% Fact free! YEY!!! Check out the description below:

A child’s life is full of both joys and challenges—the infinite wonder of learning, the literal and figurative scraped knees of everyday life, and, of course, deep, penetrating theological terror.

That’s why Pastor Brett of the Mega-Pheasant Heights Assembly Church has created an activity book that will divert those long lazy hours of idle youth into a soul-saving good time. Inside are crafty puzzles, mazes of wrath, and connect-the-dots! Also, the mysteries of God’s creation are revealed and explored, including, but not limited to: why God sometimes does not answer your prayers; why heterosexual monogamy is demanded of us; and why listening to scientists will end with your corporeal destruction and eternal damnation. You will learn the nature of other “religions” as well as how best to crush them. And then there will be juice boxes.

While tradition states that the path to heaven is paved by knowledge of scripture, the doing of good works, and the conversion of heathens, it has recently been revealed that no one can obtain their eternal reward without first obtaining a copy of The Intelligent Design Coloring Book!

It's quite obviously a parody, but if you're still not convinced or have a complete lack of faith in mankind, check out the author's bio:

Before joining the Mega-Pheasant Heights Assembly Church in 2010, Pastor Brett Pirkle headed up the Intelligent Design think tank at American Family Mission. A proponent of corporal punishment, he claims that the Holy Spirit channels God's love into his fist before he corrects the evildoer. The jury did not see it this way.

'Christian Voice' call for ban on Twilight's calendar

The Article

I found this article in the free paper 'METRO'

Christian Voice says mixing religion with the cult vampire series is ‘deeply offensive’ to Christians.
‘It’s sickening to see the message of Jesus Christ being hijacked to peddle a brand like Twilight, which to all intents and purposes proclaims an anti-religious cult,’ said Stephen Green, national director of the group.

'Twilight may be fiction, but it is dangerous to mix-up such a story in the minds of impressionable children with that of the Nativity.' 

Stephen Green - Christian Voice

The Twilight Eclipse calendar features a picture of actress Kristen Stewart, and her two rivals in love - Edward the vampire, played by Robert Pattinson, and Jacob the werewolf, portrayed by Taylor Lautner. 


Tesco apologised if anyone was offended but said it always gives customers a choice, adding: 'Twilight is a very popular brand and we aim to provide the types of products our customers would like to buy.'


My Reply

I thought it was ridiculous so I decided to email Christian Voice about it:

Dear Christian Voice,

Whilst travelling home on the train after a day at university, I picked up a copy of the free newspaper - METRO. In it I saw an article concerning a row between your organisation and a large supermarket chain over a Twilight themed advent calendar. Despite the fact that I can't wait to see the back of Twilight, I found your stance on the matter very confusing, considering the reasons (below) voiced by your very own national Director, Stephen Green.
"It's sickening to see the message of Jesus Christ being hijacked to peddle a brand like Twilight, which to all intents an purposes proclaims an anti-religious cult."
Mixing religion with the cult-vampire series is "deeply offensive" to Christians.

Firstly, I imagine that by 'the message of Jesus Christ' you are talking about the many references to chocolate filled advent calendars that are a littered throughout the New Testament. Unfortunately, I don't remember any mentions of these novelties in the psalms, letters to the Corinthians; neither have I heard any stories of the apostles opening the first windows on their calendars and asking each other if their chocolates are also shaped like baby Jesus. Could you explain to me how having Doctor Who, The Simpsons or Father Christmas on these calendars is promoting 'the message of Jesus Christ'  for you any better than Twilight. Why of all the secular calendars have you singled out the Twilight calendar.

Secondly, this season belongs to everyone - not just Christians. Christianity has hijacked the winter solstice in order to peddle the message of Jesus Christ, and it is by no means the first religion to do so. We don't mind you celebrating the birth of your saviour on the Winter solstice, as long as you don't try to stop people having their own non-christian celebrations. By claiming that non-christian themes should be banned during this festive period, this is exactly what you are doing.

Furthermore, on your website it says that "Christian Voice opposes the Racial and Religious Hatred Bill as an ILLIBERAL ATTACK ON FREEDOM OF SPEECH." I agree with you that all religions should be criticised, and that preventing people from doing so is an attack on freedom of speech. But then you go on to say that if the bill is passed you want to "Report Islamic bookstores for selling the Quran and Hadith" claiming that it is hate speech, yet you want to be able to continue to preach about how other religions lead you to be eternally tortured in hell. If this really is the Voice of Christians, then I'm thankful not to be amongst your ranks.

Happy Holidays,

David Craggs


I'll let you know if I get a reply.